Tincup Pass

Friday, and the hordes of goobers from towns near and far come to the woods to get away from it all, and act like total buttheads. I’m along the trail, getting water from a spring, when I hear that tell tale sound of a real wilderness lover – the four-stroke engine. Mr. Moron comes flying by on a dirt bike and sprays me with water pooled on the trail. Thanks for slowing down!

Hiked up into alpine areas, away from people with pumpkin sized heads, and had a splendid walk. At Tincup Pass I met a nice guy in a Volkswagen who gave me fruit and took my trash. Then it was back into the ridges and grassy scrub. Cut the hightop parts of my Montrol Namche shoes right off, and the relief was instant bliss. Might not need new shoes after all.

Some people are so funny. I met two folks on a day hike and both had giant Bowie knives and revolvers on their belts. He was even sporting a belt full of 20 extra rounds! Hmm, no grizzly bears here; just what are you being defensive for? When I told them what I was doing he sarcastically said something about how he’ll be in a nice warm bed tonight. Oh, I see! You dress up with guns and K-Mart cowboy hat to romanticize a rugged wilderness past, but when you meet somebody who is ACTUALLY LIVING in the woods you sneer and criticize. What a pathetic, jealous little man. Play dress up all you want, pardner, but you are a fake and wouldn’t last a day outside the modern comforts you’re suffocating under. Enjoy your boring bed! Your wife, decked out in a turquoise windbreaker and purple slacks, has me green with envy for the life you lead.

Yikes! That interaction got me all riled up! I’m just so used to meeting cool, interesting people in the woods; when I do meet jerks it sets me off. I should pick up some bear mace. Maybe I can get a belt like that guy and have, like, 10 cans of mace encircling my waist! Then the next time I hear, ‘Hey, yer kinda like that Forrest Gump fella, ain’t ya?’ I can just unleash my fury of pepper spray and steal their sandwiches.

  • Starting Location: bad signs and shoes
  • Destination: Tincup Pass


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